


Tendermen Weed Fic

by confused_carmine



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Boyfriends, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Marijuana, Multi, Sleepy Cuddles, come get your food sluts /lh, ive had an entire discord server waiting for this for like. three days, polycule, tendermen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:47:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28562274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/confused_carmine/pseuds/confused_carmine
Summary: “I- Okay, this is cool, but where did you even get pot?” Fitzroy asked, eyeing the green buds that sat in the baggie.
Relationships: Argo Keene & Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt, Argo Keene/Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt, Gary the Gargoyle & Argo Keene, Master Firbolg & Argo Keene, Master Firbolg & Argo Keene & Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt, Master Firbolg & Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt, Master Firbolg/Argo Keene, Master Firbolg/Argo Keene/Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt, Master Firbolg/Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt
Comments: 3
Kudos: 22





	Tendermen Weed Fic

**Author's Note:**

> THEY SMOKE POT THATS THE WHOLE FANFIC

Argo strolled along the outskirts of the campus of Wiggenstaff’s, as casually as he could. In his school bag, he had a pouch of a hundred gold pieces- of course, he had books and such, too- otherwise, that’d look plain suspicious.  
Argo easily blended into the shadow of a tall tree, his eyes flicking about the campus to make sure he wouldn’t be seen. Once he was sure he had his privacy, he snuck to where Cool Gary sat.  
“We clear?” Argo asked in a slightly hushed voice, wanting full certainty that they wouldn’t be seen.  
“Hey, Argo! Yeah, no one’s here,” Gary said, his voice hushed. He offered the genasi a wink.  
Argo relaxed slightly and reached into his bag. He pulled the pouch of coins out of his bag between two books (The Adventures of Larry The Lime and Love at First Bite: The Best Desserts on Nua) and handed it over to the stone gargoyle.  
The Gary handed a small plastic baggie over to Argo, and the rogue plucked the baggie from Gary’s stone hand and placed it deep into his bag.  
“Pleasure doin’ business with ya,” Cool Gary said. 

Fitzroy ran a comb carefully through the firbolg’s thick, damp hair, working out any knots that had managed to form in his long, thick, heavy hair. Fitzroy was most of the way through his boyfriend’s hair now- it had taken a while, but he felt good knowing that his hair was clean now.  
Fitzroy had finally managed to work out the last of the knots and began to separate the firbolg’s hair into small sections. Fitzroy began to braid the strands with a small, comfortable smile on his face.  
The firbolg stared at Fitzroy through the mirror, noting how happy he looked to fix his hair. He subconsciously smiled to himself, and barely noticed when Fitzroy caught him.  
“What’re you looking at?” Fitzroy asked, his tone teasing, like he knew exactly what his partner was looking at.  
A soft red blush rose to the firbolg’s cheeks, and he was quiet for a second. “Your smile,” he said, slow and quiet and deep. “It is…wery pretty.”  
It was Fitzroy’s turn to blush now. “Your smile is pretty, too,” he said. His voice came out much softer than he’d ever admit it did. 

“Honeys, I’m home!” Argo announced as he stepped into their shared living space, closing the door behind him as he walked inside. He didn’t even take his boots off yet, the first thing he wanted to do was talk to his boyfriends.  
He found them both on the couch, with Fitzroy snuggled into the firbolg’s side and the firbolg running his fingers over one of his new braids. He liked the way it felt.  
“Your hair looks nice, firby!” Argo said, plopping down on the couch beside Fitzroy.  
“Thank you…Fitzroy did it for me,” he said. To anyone else, the firbolg wouldn’t seem very excited about it, but to Fitzroy and Argo, who’ve been living with him for a few months now- they could tell he was happy with it.  
“How was your day?” Fitzroy asked, moving now to look at Argo.   
“Oh! It was good! I got a lil’ somethin’ actually.” Argo reached into his bag between the two books, carefully grabbing the baggie and pulling it out. He showed it to the two of them. “I don’t wanna pressure either of ya into doin’ somethin’ ya don’t wanna do, so if this isn’t really something ya’d wanna do, then- uh- yeah.” Argo looked up from where his eyes had been fixated on the coffee table (he usually didn’t look at people in the eyes when he spoke).  
“I- Okay, this is cool, but where did you even get pot?” Fitzroy asked, eyeing the green buds that sat in the baggie.  
“I got off o’ Gary, actually,” Argo said, and smiled when Fitzroy burst out laughing.  
“Cool Gary is…wery cool,” the firbolg said, making Argo burst out chuckling also.   
“So, would- would ya two wanna smoke?” Argo asked once their laughs subsided.  
Fitzroy was quiet for a moment. He looked up at his firbolg friend, and then back to Argo. “Let it never be said that Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt isn’t up for some fun.”

Argo wanted to make Fitzroy’s first smoking experience as relaxing as possible. He got out three water bottles, peach rings, berries, limes, and pizza-flavored Combos snacks and laid them out on the floor of his and the firbolg’s shared bedroom (it was their bedroom, but they used it for all three of them most of the time). He had laid it all out on a soft red blanket.  
Argo grabbed everything he’d need- his bong, a lighter, a grinder, and a small tray. He sat down with his things, between his boyfriends.  
Fitzroy watched, slightly intrigued, as Argo casted Shape Water to fill the bottom of the bong with ice cold water, and then took a few buds out of the plastic bag and put them in the grinder. He closed it and twisted the pieces together, and then after a few seconds, opened the grinder and spilled the crushed herb onto the tray. He picked it up between three fingers and began to back it into the bowl of the bong.  
Once all of it was in the bowl of the bong, Argo set the grinder and tray aside and grabbed a lighter. He knew that the firbolg already knew how to smoke, but Fitzroy didn’t. “Alright, Fitz, I’m gonna teach ya how to use a bong.” Argo turned to face Fitzroy better. A flame flicked to life from Argo’s lighter, and Argo pulled the mouthpiece of the bong closer to his face. “So, first ya light it, and then you’re gonna breathe in slowly.” Argo put his lips to the bong’s mouthpiece and took a long, deep drag from it. Once his lungs had filled with the smoke, he held it for a few seconds, and then blew the cloud out into the air. After he released it, he began to cough a little into his elbow. As he coughed, he passed the bong and lighter over to Fitzroy.  
“I light and breathe in, right?” He asked.  
“Yeah, breathe in slow, alright? You’re gonna cough a lot,” Argo responded after he recovered from his coughing fit.  
“No, uh, I think I’ve got it,” Fitzroy murmured, and put his lips to the mouthpiece of the bong. He lit the bowl of the bong and did as Argo said, taking a slow drag from it. He pulled away, holding it like Argo did. For a moment, he felt fine. Only seconds later, though, he began to burst out coughing, blowing the smoke out as he did. Fitzroy covered his mouth and turned his head away, trying to catch his breath.  
Argo grabbed a water, opened it, and handed it to Fitzroy. “Here, here, are ya alright?”   
“Yeah, I’m-“ Fitzroy began coughing again.  
Fitzroy nodded wordlessly and gladly took the water bottle, taking a sip from it when his coughing settled slightly.   
It took around five minutes for Fitzroy’s coughing to really settle down- the water helped, thankfully. He could already feel a buzzy, floaty feeling in his limbs, his face almost felt numb. It was weird, to say the least.  
“I- I think I’m feeling it a little,” Fitzroy murmured, handing the bong over to Argo.  
“Already?” Argo asked, passing the bong and lighter over to the firbolg now.   
“I- yes, I- I think,” Fitzroy gave a breathy little chuckle- whether that was from nervousness or excitement, he didn’t know.  
The firbolg took a long, deep drag from the bong. He was much larger than Argo and Fitzroy, so he could hold a lot more smoke. Once he released his breath, a large cloud of smoke rolled out of the firbolg’s nose and past his lips, much more than even Argo had let out.   
“Jesus,” Fitzroy murmured, causing Argo to giggle softly.  
“You have nothing on me, Rookie,” the firbolg told Fitzroy as he passed the bong back to a laughing Argo.  
It went on like that, hitting and passing and talking in between.  
Fitzroy was gone quick, laughing at the littlest thing and saying dumb shit like,  
“Why- why don’t we make animals wear clothes?”  
“Wh-“ Argo burst out laughing. “What?”  
“I just mean…we’re forced to wear clothes and shit, but animals aren’t?”  
“Are ya suggestin’ we dress up every single animal?” Argo tilted his head.  
“Or am I suggesting the opposite?”   
“Becoming nudists?” The firbolg asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.  
“Yes!” Fitzroy pointed at the firbolg. “Yes.”  
Argo began laughing yet again. “You’re baked,” he said, and took a drink from his water bottle.  
“Yes, and tired,” Fitzroy said. “I kindly demand a cuddle pile. Please.”   
The firbolg pulled them both into the warmth of his chest and held them close. He gave each of them a kiss on the head.  
“I love you guys,” Fitzroy said no louder than a whisper.  
“I love ya both, too,” Argo murmured. He wrapped his arms around Fitzroy, leaning into his side. Fitzroy gladly looped one of his arms around Argo, and let his eyes fall shut.  
“I also love you,” the firbolg spoke up.  
They drifted off like that, warm and comfortable.


End file.
